My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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