Plan B is the new Plan A
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
