My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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