Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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