I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
