Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
