I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
