how can u be prego again
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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