It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
