two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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