Can i not drive my cunt home
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
