I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
