i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
