...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
