We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
