i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
