it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
