So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize