There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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