U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
