Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
