i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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