i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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