Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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