Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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