Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
