He told me they were just razor bumps!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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