we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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