I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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