he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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