...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
