You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
