I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
