Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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