I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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