That's intense
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
