I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize