hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
