Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize