Cold hands, warm shart.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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