Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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