I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's blow job season.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
They have beer where we have blood.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
