I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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