Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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