How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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