Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
