just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
