fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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