We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
