Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
