every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize