Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
