i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize