come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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