Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
