Sry I called you an 8
The maid of honor just puked.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
