I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
