after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
