My nipple is on Facebook.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
