just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
