fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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