escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
