who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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