I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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