yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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