Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
