I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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