I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
