ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
