ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
