I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I understand Curling. That high.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
