his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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