I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
