A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
