I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
