I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
